If Alex Rodriguez were any fictional Disney character, first off it would go off air. But if Alex were Pinnochio:
1. His nose would be longer than the bat he swings at the plate.
2. He'd look so strong, his long nose would have muscles. (Answer: Steroids)
But that's okay Alex, no Pinocchio Steroids for you.
Yes we all know that the Phillies have trampeled the be-fuddling Dodgers in the NLCS, and we all know that the Angels and Yankees series has caused a bit of a minor major heart
attack in the womb of the Yankee faithful.
But why now do we worry about that, when we have Indians news that has brewed up quite a storm over the young, talented Cuyohoga!! Manny Acta has just been announced as the Indians new head coach through 2013. Wonders... we got a guy who is used to losing. Just bring on the tradition buddy, we are used to it here in Cleveland.
Scenario 1
Acta gets hurt in spring training writing the lineup card for an exhibition game. Don't believe me, every other Indian has had some sort of surgery or some sort of doctors visit that has taken place this off season. Don't all us fans hate it when our star players have to go under the knife in the off season?? I know I do.
The guy would definetely not make a strong showing here in Cleveland if he chose this route. The pungeant smell in Cleveland only seems to want to grow larger than it already is. With Acta in town - this injury in the off season might be the way to go.
Scenario 2
The Cleveland Browns and the Cleveland Indians make an in - city trade. The Indians trade Jhonny Peralta to the Cubs for Jeff Samardzija (used to play football for Notre Dame) and the Indians then trade Samardzija to the Browns for $8 million in cash. Yeah, maybe its illegal but the nonsensical season the Browns are having - does Mangini really have to care "what legal and whats not?" I think not.
The Browns need all the help they can get, and if the Indians can get money out of a deal - go ahead and take it. We need money people! That's all we want for Halloween, no candy - no Milky Ways... money. Don't hate us cause we are snobs! Aren't we all these days?
Mangini - 0 Acta - 1
1. A riddle in which a fanciful question is answered by a pun.
2. A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma: "the conundrum, thus far unanswered, of achieving full employment without inflation" (Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.)
Its kind of funny. Albert Belle thinks he can coach the Cleveland Indians. Sir, have
you thought what it would be like to coach a team that is full of young blood and new souls? You yourself have claimed it wasn't "Wedge's fault," and that Dolan did this to the team.
But you don't make sense my friend. Such a foolish remark only to be backed up by you claiming that "You can coach the Indians." Your kind of like a little bug... yes. You know that one that swarmed the Yankees in the ALDS of 07? What was the name of that again?..... Midge?
You sir are a midge in my book. Right now - the only game plan I have in terms of the Indians is to "bemidge" the midge. Correct me if I am wrong, but you are just a donut eating, smack talking, idiot of a man.
Who doesn't agree with that?.... Just tell me if you are one to obstruct justice.
I pose a conundrum my friend. One that even you nor I could possibly ponder. For "what is the difference between you and Eric Wedge? One is fired.... And one will be fired if he starts coaching!!
Could that possibly be my friend, Albert? Sorry that I am so punny these days...
Look alike eh? Uh... nevermind about that. Remember that fun show that was called Jon and Kate Plus 8? Gone. Why? Well a man named Jon Gosselin sorta "cheated" on his wife, but that's no big deal. But he still whines and cries about it saying "there are two sides to the story" and that sh... crap. You catch my drift?
Milton Bradley is the Cubs Jon Gosselin, he angers, (throwing ball into stands with two outs... ouch) and then whines about it. Its kind of funny actually... Jon and Kate Plus 8 thought that these two would be the perfect couple for this show - and thought they plain out were the perfect couple. The Cubs thought Milton Bradley was the best outfielder on the market - and just thought he was the way to go.
Well... neither turned out so good. Milton Bradley is to Jon Gosselin as apples are to oranges. There you have it.
1. They both whine and cry.
Gosselin blames this whole shebang on Kate while Milton Bradley blames his horrible year on... what does he blame it on? (I guess he hasn't found something yet?)
2. Both of them hate what they do
Gosselin wanted to end the show and Milton Bradley... doesn't seem so happy playing baseball. Unless he's been going to a few therapy sessions we don't know about - with Brad Lidge.
3. They both get headlines
Figures.... two chumps that cry, whine, baby themselves - get the headlines. They both have been in the USA Today and both are sporadic all over the news. Now see,... if you ever wanna get on the News kids, just follow Jon Gosselin.
4. They both got suspended
Milton Bradley got suspended for beeing a bee-otch and Jon Gosselin well.... yeah that too.
The truth is just that Jon Gosselin and Milton Bradley are whining babies that always get their way... until they get suspended. If they want to turn their lives around - I would check Social Services first. (Don't) carry on wayward son... oops sons. Just continue to try to get your way by slipping through the economy that we have today, you sly, sly baffoons.
The uh.... unloved one Brad Lidge actually had some love last night. For the first time in a year - Mr. Lidge got a BIG save in the playoffs.
What does this mean?
It means Brad Lidge is going to therapy, or he is god... let's go with therapy. The man that was heckled by Philadelphia fans, and was going to be shunned by the city (if they could get their hands on him,) actually came through last night and saved the cities' hopes.
Now Brad Lidge wears a big smile that can't be whiplashed off of his face. Jokes on you Phillies fans. Looks like Brad Lidge is back....
Wait, not so fast. That's what a one-sided nematode of a fan would be saying. The fact of the matter is, Brad Lidge is Brad Lidge - maybe a therapy session in there or two led to last nights big save that shut out the Rockies hopes, but that doesn't mean the man is an extraterrestrial closer. Heck he is still the mediocre guy that Phillies fans made a fool of earlier in the season. He uh... might get some respect now from you?
The guy needs a pat on the back, and maybe a hug and a kiss.... and maybe pancakes and waffles for breakfast, but that's not the point. Bradford Lidge needs your love Phillies fans.
That is the 'secret' ingredient, that "thing" that sets everything straight. Its your move.
The multitude of people who watched the Twins game last night, whinged at the way the Yankees clawed their way back into the ball game. What is it with them and their comebacks, are they just too good?
No, they aren't, but with a crowd like that on an occasion, one has to believe that they will get the job done. The Yankees are a single-step-institution which is aimed towards the taking of the World Series Championship, and this year, they ain't lettin' any cinderella-story burst their bubble just to knock them out of the playoffs.
Ain't no way Jose.
The blustering Yankees seem to always have a teams number in the latter innings - with last nights walk-off magic as some call it. But for what good does it do the fans? I know Jane from Confessions of a She-Fan sure wasn't so proud of the way her Yankees played win or lose. The fact of the matter is, (the team that was "too good" for everyone else, let a small ball team stay in the game for too long.)
The effect it has is huge, if the Yankees can't beat teams like the Twins, they won't ever be able to beat teams like the Dodgers, thus ending their tumultuous scheme.
>
In my opinion, the Yankees will get knocked out in the ALDS. Why? Simple. A team like the Angels have given up 1 run to the Red Sox, an offense that lives off of teams in the ALDS to fuel their compactor for the ALCS. But what gives? Could the Angels be that good this year?
Yes. For one of the best offensive teams in the major leagues has gotten the short end of the stick in both games.
And the Yankees fans are just brewing up a storm right now reading this, "Ted you jerk, you have no clue what you are talking about, you one sided Indians fan!" Yes, I do know what I am talking about. For doesn't it protrude to one that almost all Yankee fans think "their" team is the best. Yes they have the most money, you win. But still... that doesn't make you the best team out there.
The Angels are going to win the World Series,... and Yankees fans "You aren't so good after all."
** Note - this is a thread for all fans. What are your thoughts on the Yankees? Are they just that good?**
"Why are there so many off days in the play-offs? There are less games, and then there's so much time with like two games at once. Why is that? Are the people in power just being irritating?"
-- Caroline Roig-Irwin
_________________________________________________
Interesting questions Caroline.
We all do hate this long post-season that seems to run on like the Mississippi itself, but there is reason for this. Heck, there is reason for everything around here.
This is like a little kid asking "Why are there so many days of school?" There is no one answer, but many. But if you want my opinion I will give it to you. The main reason for these days off are for resting periods, and for many days of preparation for the next game. If you played back to back to back games, what would be the use of a short post season?
Waiting longer gives us fans more of a thrill watching the games, and more of a chance to really investigate the situation. The whole "thing" to this game is to win the World Series. I just don't see it being that exciting and excruciating if there are back to back games in the play-offs.
The regular season wears away players on its own like a band-saw wears away wood, and to play daily playoff games is like asking NFL players to play daily themselves.
Yes I do hate the long awaited series that seem to play on for weeks, but it has to happen.
If not, many players will be joining the European leagues. Lord knows what awaits them there... Oh gosh, nightmares. But the reason we don't play back to back in the play-offs is for pitchings' sake. If pitchers had to go back to back days, then the whole rotation would be messed up. Teams like the Red Sox would have to use all 5 of their semi-weakened rotation, instead of 3 of their top pitchers. It just wouldn't be worth the watching.
So Caroline - just try and wait it out. Baseball is long and is a waiting process. 162 games is a wait too. We all have to get through this.
** Send me your Ted's Takes **
Think you got a question that even (I) can't answer? Got a question that will make me rant and rave for a day (let's keep it under 5 pages?) Think you can outhink Ted? Send me 'Your Take' by either commenting here on Ted's Take or emailing me at tjgwilliams@zoominternet.net.
There are days where you wish you weren't the fan of your favorite team. Don't deny it. There are days when I look at ESPN and see how the Yankees and Mets,... well not this year, pumble every team. Sometimes you just want to branch out and look at things in another fans prospective.
The Twins - Tigers game was the most exciting game I have ever seen in my entire life. From
Carlos Gomez jumping like a ballerina, to the likes of Jim Leyland scorning with his tobacco filled face. That game was when I, Ted, wanted to become a part of Twins Territory. The Dome was packed, and there wasn't a seat left in the place, as the Twins put on a show that wouldn't ever be forgotten. The towels were waved, and the "al-co-hol-ic" chants spilled out of the obnoxious Minnesota crowd towards Miguel Cabrera. What a wonderful atmosphere.
Sadly, the Twins two - game winning streak was cut short to the infamous Yankees yesterday night. But that won't stop the fight in the miraculous-crazy-energy filled Minnesota Twins from competing day in and day out.
What will?
Nothing. I hope that the Twins go all the way in the playoffs they deserve it. Feeling kind of blue right now due to the fact that the ill-fated Yankees had to stand in a teams' way that was the Cinderella of this season. But don't you see something here? In 2007 the Cleveland Indians were the Cinderella Central team that went all the way to the ALCS. David the Indians, sure did defeat Goliath, the Yankees when the Indians took the series in four games.
The over-paid, money throw away-ing, high payroll-ing, annoying (heavy breaths), piece of crap, no good, dirty, rotten Yanks are standing in the way of this David. Let's go Twins, nothing can stop you. You have Ted on your side.
Go get em.
Scott Boras has hit Mets slugger Gary Sheffield with a $600,000 lawsuit. Real? Indeed it is. Since Sheffield the whiney cry baby of the Children of the Corn ditched Boras when he signed a $39 million contract with the Yankees in 2004, they have been feuding over "If Sheffield still owes him money." A super agent vs. a cry baby, that looks pretty nice on a blog. Congrats Gary and Scott, for you two are the biggest wieners of the crowd!
Mr. Sheffield, umm how much money do you currently pocket in the Northwestern Savings Bank, or whatever trust fund you continuously invest in? How many years of overpayment has it taken to finally hit you in the face full throttle, to dawn on you, "Hey, maybe I do deserve a 600k fine?" The man that sits in the box, and hits a good four pitches consistently 400 ft. into the stands in foul ground, and then watches strike three go right down the middle. I'm not buying this whole "I am innocent" crap.
But then on the other hand, Mr. Boras, the devil from hell, the super agent who committed to Stephen Strasburg, only to have him turn his back on the draft, and hold out for more money. Seriously dude, you got issues with money. You are asking Mr. Sheffield here for 600k off the street? Since when has this law suit gone on? And how long have you invested in this whole "I am gonna sue him" garbage? You both need to take a break and just put on a pair of boxing gloves and duke it out.
The biggest cry-baby in the Major Leagues against the biggest piece of trash found in the parts of any money situation, looks pretty darn fun to watch.
But what brings up this odd situation in the first place Mr. Boras? Did you feel mis-interpreted, and did you feel like an outsider when Gary Sheffield decided to "play hide and go seek with you" but in turn, just went inside and played around. It seemed like during this situation, you were the kid who sat outside looking day and night for the boy who smirkishly sat indoors snickering at your dishearted content. But what brings up such a fuss over the year 2004?
Beats me.
But both of them seem like they are on the same road here,.. a road to failure. One that leaves a look on ones face that never leaves. Mr. Boras and Mr. Sheffield both want to ruin their careers right? The cry-baby vs. the devil continues on...
The Detroit Tigers have had enough bumps in the road this season. From the Minnesota Twins - to their blundering collapse, they now have to win tonight just to even enter the postseason. But who would've thought that their best hitter was boozing until happiness? Just another reason to root against the Tigers.
Friday night Miguel Cabrera had a blood-alcohol level of 0.26 and was noted as "immature" and "out-of line." But since when does this man hit the hooch? Since when does Miguel get a great time after popping a few beers into his system? Just another reason for the Tigers to falter in the playoffs. There is nothing that I wouldn't want to see more than this if I were a Tigers fan. Such stupidity mixed with vulgarity meshing together to form one huge side story that can be used against the Tigers in their crashing playoff hopes. Having a few beers is okay, and maybe if you pop a good four into your system it isn't bad, but if you have a huge game against the Twins to keep the chances alive, what is the point?
For fun?
This isn't a college frat house Miguel, I am sorry. If you wanna go and enjoy the good old days, go back to some kick-*** parties and join the U again. If you want to stay and live the good life, I suggest you stay in the major leagues.
The lack of effort to keep his act on the field shows what a "real" team player he is. It is just ridiculous to spend your hours downing some with friends, actually opponents (Chicago White Sox.) Good times are always fun to live by, but when you go over the limit and over the top, you should pay a price. If I were the Tigers, I would bench you by all means. Jim Leyland and his tar-ridden lungs should show you the back of his hand. You and your $152.3 million contract.
Clean up your act, or hit the road frat boy!
